Being in control sounds at once both attractive and appropriate.
In our everyday life, we accept the idea that having control is good for everyone: individuals, corporations, governments, other organizations. Being in control of your car when you drive is appropriate. Being in control of your emotions is appropriate.
It seems that having control or being in control should be second nature to us in terms of how we’re supposed to behave and what we expect from others.
We say “Get ahold of yourself! Or “Control yourself!” Or “He’s out of control!”
But we also say “Boy, she’s certainly controlling.” Or “He’s a control freak.”
The outside aspect of control is the way in which others experience someone else’s control. The above statements show how in the eyes of others it can be considered either a good thing or a bad thing.
The inside aspect, the way you experience yourself, is nothing to do with how we define control on the outside.
Meditation, introspection, inner peace – however you choose to describe it – is not about control in the external sense. Trying to be aggressive, forceful, pushy, or tough on oneself leaves one cold, cut-off and stressed.
On the inside, there’s no one to fight, no goal to reach, no competition to win, no push-pull. Those concepts just turn into frustration, confusion and emptiness when applied to the inner world.”
-Kim Anthony Kersey
If we wish to see a world where control is not an admired behavior, but rather something that is fundamental to our individual experience, then our approach to knowing ourselves will benefit from bringing patience, allowing and compassion to our relationship with ourselves.
Here’s some good news: this is achieved by calmly sitting in a quiet space, with a quiet mind and simply breathing attentively.
Following the breath into and out of the body, breathing gently and calmly brings into focus centeredness, peacefulness and a comfort zone with our experience.
Feeling rushed, judged, pushed – feeling like you’re not good enough or out of place? This is the outside aspect of control pressing you out of your right and true experience.
When we live first from the inner world, however, we can build our acceptance of ourselves, experience self-love, and then begin to experience ourselves in the outer world with less push-pull.
Breathe. Breathe in peace. Breathe consciously. There is no conundrum. There is no control. There is you.